Discussion:
Ask A Wiccan
(too old to reply)
m***@lycos.com
2007-01-11 04:24:54 UTC
Permalink
Dear Wiccan,
Our youngest child just went off to college, and empty-nest syndrome
has really begun to set in. My wife and I thought this would be a time
for us to rediscover our freedom, but instead the joy has left our
household. Any tips?

-Lonesome In Lodi

Dear Lonesome,
Blessed be! When forming your Coven, be mindful that it is very
different from performing your Workings as a solitary witch. Rituals
involving a Gathering of pagans, led by a wise High Priest or
Priestess, are much more powerful through the Coven. Drawing down the
moon, consecrating a sacred bolline-knife and casting the scrying
magicks alongside your widdershins-walking fellow-souls is not only a
real and powerful celebration of Nature, it is also a solemn and
dignified Communion among our folk! The Lord and Lady smile upon the
hour of your Circle's meeting, and may the Goddess grant that your path
be true and your Craft blessed!

Dear Wiccan,
I'm a single man in his mid-30s who's never had much luck with women. I
become very uncomfortable and awkward around the ones I'm interested
in. I've talked to a lot of people about the problem, but no one ever
seems to have any good advice. Can you help?

-Shy In Cheyenne

Dear Shy,
Merry meet! All other dweomers being equal, the phases of Mother Moon
are the most powerful magickal influence upon any incantation you may
devise. The Goddess has charged our heavenly protectoress with the
turning of tides and seasons-astral as well as earthly-and as She
waxes and wanes, so does the potency of our charms! In some of Her
phases, the amethyst crystal can sharpen your sixth sense, and it may
be twinned to your runestones, or even steeped in a healthful
nettle-and-foxglove tea to aid in your scrying-spells. But beware! In
other phases, the opposite is true, and using any crystal but the
blood-tourmaline will rend your power from you or twist your magicks
along the Dark Path! So that you may step carefully, consult with your
circle's Elders before attempting any of the rituals or incantations of
the Major Arcana. If your Elders are fasting, meditating or
Wind-walking, seek ye the 69 convergent Lunar phases in the grimoiries
of our hallowed Sage, Wolfling SilverRaven. At the very least, please
consult your Tarot!

Dear Wiccan,
My son is probably just a normal 15-year-old, but he seems to want
absolutely everything: CD players, video games, cellular phones-even
a car! I want to be good to him and treat him to nice things, but I
don't want to spoil him rotten. How much stuff is too much for today's
teen?

-Behind The Times In Trenton

Dear Trenton,
May Brigid bless your path! The Wiccan Rede entreats all of our
fellowship to do as we will, but remember: The most important law is to
Harm None! Injudicious use of passion spells, Fascination-charms or
love potions to bind an unwitting being to your soul, whether human
lover or feline familiar, is unworthy of even the Hornéd God! The
person thus ensorcelled is bereft of Freewill and becomes a mere golem
without motivation of his or her own. This is but a mockery of love,
and if non-Wiccans find that we have been practicing such strong and
forbidden Magicks, their wrath would be kindled and the Burning Times
upon us again! Wicca is not about power or control. Wicca is the sun on
one's face, the breeze in one's hair, the mysteries of the stars, sun,
moon and everything else that science cannot explain. Only by staying
true to Goddess, Rede and Craft may we harmonize with the ebb and flow
of Nature's cycles. Stray from this, and we shall be exiled to the Dark
Lands in a dark time! Blessed Parting, my brethren and sistren!

Morganna Goldenwand is a syndicated advice columnist whose weekly
column, Ask A Wiccan, appears in over three newspapers nationwide. She
is also the author of Tread Lightly: A Guide To The Sacred Woodland
Glades Of Upper Illinois, and has ju
GreendistantNOSPAMstar
2007-01-11 05:01:08 UTC
Permalink
<***@lycos.com> wrote in message news:***@i56g2000hsf.googlegroups.com...
Dear Wiccan,
Our youngest child just went off to college, and empty-nest syndrome
has really begun to set in. My wife and I thought this would be a time
for us to rediscover our freedom, but instead the joy has left our
household. Any tips?

-Lonesome In Lodi

Dear Lonesome,

Buy some p-rn, a big vibrator and some lube - tell her it's Bedroom Vale Tudo and
watch her smile.

Dear Wiccan,
I'm a single man in his mid-30s who's never had much luck with women. I
become very uncomfortable and awkward around the ones I'm interested
in. I've talked to a lot of people about the problem, but no one ever
seems to have any good advice. Can you help?

-Shy In Cheyenne

Dear Shy,

You are what we call in martial arts circles a 'loser'. Get your flabby ass off
that computer seat, do some Judo or Bjj and start pulling the chicks with lines
such as " You should see my guard passes" or " Do you like the turtle position?".

Dear Wiccan,
My son is probably just a normal 15-year-old, but he seems to want
absolutely everything: CD players, video games, cellular phones-even
a car! I want to be good to him and treat him to nice things, but I
don't want to spoil him rotten. How much stuff is too much for today's
teen?

-Behind The Times In Trenton

Dear Trenton,

Take away his CD player, video games, cell phone, car and stop feeding him. When
he comes crawling to you begging to be fed, slap him upside his face and tell him
to man up, get a life and start training, as you hand him his new pair of boxing
gloves.

Morganna Goldenwand is a syndicated bullshit columnist whose weekly
column, Ask A Fraud, appears in over one newspaper nationwide. She
is also the author of Bend Over Lightly: A Guide To The Sacred Basements
Of Lower Boston and How I Scam Mindless Rubes. She can be contacted on
I'm-a-fucking-***@asswipe.com
Rabid Weasel
2007-01-11 13:14:52 UTC
Permalink
2 points!

Peace favor your sword (IH),
Kirk
Post by m***@lycos.com
Dear Wiccan,
Our youngest child just went off to college, and empty-nest syndrome
has really begun to set in. My wife and I thought this would be a time
for us to rediscover our freedom, but instead the joy has left our
household. Any tips?
-Lonesome In Lodi
Dear Lonesome,
Buy some p-rn, a big vibrator and some lube - tell her it's Bedroom Vale Tudo and
watch her smile.
Dear Wiccan,
I'm a single man in his mid-30s who's never had much luck with women. I
become very uncomfortable and awkward around the ones I'm interested
in. I've talked to a lot of people about the problem, but no one ever
seems to have any good advice. Can you help?
-Shy In Cheyenne
Dear Shy,
You are what we call in martial arts circles a 'loser'. Get your flabby ass off
that computer seat, do some Judo or Bjj and start pulling the chicks with lines
such as " You should see my guard passes" or " Do you like the turtle position?".
Dear Wiccan,
My son is probably just a normal 15-year-old, but he seems to want
absolutely everything: CD players, video games, cellular phones-even
a car! I want to be good to him and treat him to nice things, but I
don't want to spoil him rotten. How much stuff is too much for today's
teen?
-Behind The Times In Trenton
Dear Trenton,
Take away his CD player, video games, cell phone, car and stop feeding him. When
he comes crawling to you begging to be fed, slap him upside his face and tell him
to man up, get a life and start training, as you hand him his new pair of boxing
gloves.
Morganna Goldenwand is a syndicated bullshit columnist whose weekly
column, Ask A Fraud, appears in over one newspaper nationwide. She
is also the author of Bend Over Lightly: A Guide To The Sacred Basements
Of Lower Boston and How I Scam Mindless Rubes. She can be contacted on
Mark Goldberg
2007-01-11 13:26:48 UTC
Permalink
Post by GreendistantNOSPAMstar
Morganna Goldenwand is a syndicated bullshit columnist whose weekly
column, Ask A Fraud, appears in over one newspaper nationwide. She
is also the author of Bend Over Lightly: A Guide To The Sacred Basements
Of Lower Boston and How I Scam Mindless Rubes. She can be contacted on
Roung 1: 10-8 :^))
and I removed the alt.satanism, just on principle

Mark
Mark Goldberg
2007-01-11 13:32:29 UTC
Permalink
Post by m***@lycos.com
Morganna Goldenwand is a syndicated advice columnist whose weekly
column, Ask A Wiccan, appears in over three newspapers nationwide. She
is also the author of Tread Lightly: A Guide To The Sacred Woodland
Glades Of Upper Illinois, and has ju
Go 'ask a weekend' somewhere else.
Appears in 'over three newspapers nationwide' is a hell of an excuse
to wrap fish here on RMA.

Mark
Jani
2007-01-12 00:53:56 UTC
Permalink
I wonder how many more people are going to miss the point that it's a spoof
... from the Onion, in fact? :)

Jani
Post by Mark Goldberg
Post by m***@lycos.com
Morganna Goldenwand is a syndicated advice columnist whose weekly
column, Ask A Wiccan, appears in over three newspapers nationwide. She
is also the author of Tread Lightly: A Guide To The Sacred Woodland
Glades Of Upper Illinois, and has ju
Go 'ask a weekend' somewhere else.
Appears in 'over three newspapers nationwide' is a hell of an excuse
to wrap fish here on RMA.
Mark
Mark Goldberg
2007-01-12 03:03:17 UTC
Permalink
Post by Jani
I wonder how many more people are going to miss the point that it's a spoof
... from the Onion, in fact? :)
Jani
You mean it's facile on purpose.....?
Still boring

Mark
Rabid Weasel
2007-01-12 13:28:27 UTC
Permalink
Post by Jani
I wonder how many more people are going to miss the point that it's a spoof
... from the Onion, in fact? :)
Jani
Where's the link in the OP? Where's the ref. to the Onion in the OP? Or
do you expect everyone to do a web-search on every post that shows up on
usenet, paying special attention to cross-reference The Onion? Perhaps
you'd care to write a bot to automate it for us?

Or maybe, just maybe, you might consider the outside possibility that not
everyone reading the OP has read that entry in The Onion. Or perhaps,
just perhaps, that some may not have such intimate knowledge of The Onion
as you and do not read it every week and additionally that, lacking a link
or some other reference to The Onion in the OP, they might not even guess
its origins.

You know, just maybe.

:P

Peace favor your sword (IH),
Kirk
Jani
2007-01-12 13:59:40 UTC
Permalink
Post by Rabid Weasel
Post by Jani
I wonder how many more people are going to miss the point that it's a spoof
... from the Onion, in fact? :)
Jani
Where's the link in the OP? Where's the ref. to the Onion in the OP? Or
do you expect everyone to do a web-search on every post that shows up on
usenet, paying special attention to cross-reference The Onion? Perhaps
you'd care to write a bot to automate it for us?
Or maybe, just maybe, you might consider the outside possibility that not
everyone reading the OP has read that entry in The Onion. Or perhaps,
just perhaps, that some may not have such intimate knowledge of The Onion
as you and do not read it every week and additionally that, lacking a link
or some other reference to The Onion in the OP, they might not even guess
its origins.
You know, just maybe.
:P
Possibly the spoof element isn't immediately clear to those unfamiliar with
Wiccans, true. But I would have thought the total disjunction between the
questions and the replies would have made it fairly obvious that it wasn't a
genuine advice column - and if I see something posted which is almost
certainly a piss-take, I go and look where it came from ;)

Jani
Rabid Weasel
2007-01-12 14:25:58 UTC
Permalink
Post by Jani
Possibly the spoof element isn't immediately clear to those unfamiliar with
Wiccans, true.
...or unfamiliar with The Onion, or any number of other reasons.
Post by Jani
But I would have thought the total disjunction between the
questions and the replies would have made it fairly obvious that it wasn't a
genuine advice column -
When's the last time you read the newspaper, followed a political debate,
or just listened to two folks who come from a different background?
Post by Jani
and if I see something posted which is almost
certainly a piss-take, I go and look where it came from ;)
You're forgetting why the original Onion spoof works. It's because most
people have an image of Wiccans as a bit fruity anyway (I'm not debating
whether or not that image is accurate only stating that it is the image).
Additionally, most people know that there are always "fringe" members of
any group, from religion to technology, who are extra-"out there." It
doesn't take too much to combine the two.

So, barring any actual indication of intent, it's not
completely unreasonable to assume the OP was intended to be serious.

And if you don't think that there are some folk that would fit right in
with this, despite the fact that you know it to be a parody, I will direct
you to Yellow Bamboo.

Peace favor your sword (IH),
Kirk
Jani
2007-01-12 16:59:46 UTC
Permalink
Post by Rabid Weasel
Post by Jani
Possibly the spoof element isn't immediately clear to those unfamiliar with
Wiccans, true.
...or unfamiliar with The Onion, or any number of other reasons.
Post by Jani
But I would have thought the total disjunction between the
questions and the replies would have made it fairly obvious that it wasn't a
genuine advice column -
When's the last time you read the newspaper, followed a political debate,
or just listened to two folks who come from a different background?
It's not a matter of cross-purposes, though, it's specific questions being
answered by complete irrelevancies.
Post by Rabid Weasel
Post by Jani
and if I see something posted which is almost
certainly a piss-take, I go and look where it came from ;)
You're forgetting why the original Onion spoof works. It's because most
people have an image of Wiccans as a bit fruity anyway (I'm not debating
whether or not that image is accurate only stating that it is the image).
Additionally, most people know that there are always "fringe" members of
any group, from religion to technology, who are extra-"out there." It
doesn't take too much to combine the two.
Yeah, the Onion works because it's just plausible enough to make you look
twice, but having done that, the satire becomes obvious. The worst ones,
IMO, are the fundie religious ones which read like a spoof and then you
realise they're genuine, and there actually are nutbars who think like that
:(
Post by Rabid Weasel
So, barring any actual indication of intent, it's not
completely unreasonable to assume the OP was intended to be serious.
And if you don't think that there are some folk that would fit right in
with this, despite the fact that you know it to be a parody, I will direct
you to Yellow Bamboo.
There are certainly people who would fit right in with the general *tone* of
the replies, sure. But even if you took the replies seriously, they still
bear *no relation to the questions*. That's the giveaway.

Jani
Chas
2007-01-12 18:23:21 UTC
Permalink
......The worst ones, IMO, are the fundie religious ones which read like a
spoof and then you realise they're genuine, and there actually are nutbars
who think like that :(
Which is exactly what happened-
have you ever actually met any Wiccans?
Hard to point at the actual satire in the Onion piece.
Fundie Wiccans would be a lot scarier if it wasn't a bunch of fat women and
chumps. That whole 'venus of willendorf' chic and the sissies whining about
earthmothers is off-putting.

Chas
Jani
2007-01-13 00:36:48 UTC
Permalink
Post by Chas
......The worst ones, IMO, are the fundie religious ones which read like a
spoof and then you realise they're genuine, and there actually are nutbars
who think like that :(
Which is exactly what happened-
have you ever actually met any Wiccans?
Yup.
Post by Chas
Hard to point at the actual satire in the Onion piece.
Fundie Wiccans would be a lot scarier if it wasn't a bunch of fat women
and chumps. That whole 'venus of willendorf' chic and the sissies whining
about earthmothers is off-putting.
I think you're confusing Wiccans with newage fluffwits (who are, to be fair,
much more numerous than actual Wiccans).

Jani
Chas
2007-01-13 03:59:24 UTC
Permalink
Post by Jani
Post by Chas
Fundie Wiccans would be a lot scarier if it wasn't a bunch of fat women
and chumps. That whole 'venus of willendorf' chic and the sissies whining
about earthmothers is off-putting.
I think you're confusing Wiccans with newage fluffwits (who are, to be
fair, much more numerous than actual Wiccans).
I'm sure there must be important differences, obvious to the aficionado-
something to do with donuts/turkey legs perhaps, by all indications to a
layman.

Chas
Jani
2007-01-13 14:59:26 UTC
Permalink
Post by Chas
Post by Jani
Post by Chas
Fundie Wiccans would be a lot scarier if it wasn't a bunch of fat women
and chumps. That whole 'venus of willendorf' chic and the sissies
whining about earthmothers is off-putting.
I think you're confusing Wiccans with newage fluffwits (who are, to be
fair, much more numerous than actual Wiccans).
I'm sure there must be important differences, obvious to the aficionado-
something to do with donuts/turkey legs perhaps, by all indications to a
layman.
We-ell, it's a bit like the difference between people who practice martial
arts, and people who jump around in strange positions going "hee-YAH!" and
making random chopping motions with their hands ...

Jani
Chas
2007-01-13 16:04:03 UTC
Permalink
Post by Jani
We-ell, it's a bit like the difference between people who practice martial
arts, and people who jump around in strange positions going "hee-YAH!" and
making random chopping motions with their hands ...
McWiccans?
who knew?

Chas
Jani
2007-01-13 17:32:09 UTC
Permalink
Post by Chas
Post by Jani
We-ell, it's a bit like the difference between people who practice
martial arts, and people who jump around in strange positions going
"hee-YAH!" and making random chopping motions with their hands ...
McWiccans?
who knew?
McWiccans, indeed. Or wikkins, wanna-blessed-be's, flufftards,
christianity-with-tits ....

Jani
Chas
2007-01-13 17:47:24 UTC
Permalink
Post by Jani
McWiccans, indeed. Or wikkins, wanna-blessed-be's, flufftards,
christianity-with-tits ....
Sort of ball-less asateru; paganism with a puss-
now I understand.

Chas
Jani
2007-01-13 17:59:16 UTC
Permalink
Post by Chas
Post by Jani
McWiccans, indeed. Or wikkins, wanna-blessed-be's, flufftards,
christianity-with-tits ....
Sort of ball-less asateru; paganism with a puss-
now I understand.
Yup. Wikkins hop up and down demanding "respect"; Wiccans (male or female)
earn it, and therefore get it. You have the same principle in MA, surely?

Jani
Mark Goldberg
2007-01-13 21:22:34 UTC
Permalink
Post by Jani
Yup. Wikkins hop up and down demanding "respect"; Wiccans (male or female)
earn it, and therefore get it. You have the same principle in MA, surely?
Jani
Sure... we have idiots here who cross post and think everyone is
interested in their silly narcissim.

Like your's

Mark
Jani
2007-01-13 21:49:11 UTC
Permalink
Post by Mark Goldberg
Post by Jani
Yup. Wikkins hop up and down demanding "respect"; Wiccans (male or
female) earn it, and therefore get it. You have the same principle in MA,
surely?
Jani
Sure... we have idiots here who cross post and think everyone is
interested in their silly narcissim.
Like your's
Sweetie, I didn't start the crossposts. Nor have I been narcissistic in my
responses. Can't you deal with people who talk to each other in a reasonably
polite manner?

Jani
Mark Goldberg
2007-01-13 23:37:03 UTC
Permalink
Post by Jani
Sweetie, I didn't start the crossposts. Nor have I been narcissistic in my
responses. Can't you deal with people who talk to each other in a reasonably
polite manner?
Take your phony apple pie 'sweetie' and plant them in the garden where
you post, or compost... whatever you call this drivel you vomit up like
aunt fannies bowel movements, but served on a plate to others as if it
were delicacies.

Thank you so much madam saccharine phony baloney

anti-sincerely, and toodles

Myself and the majority of RMA
rain forest
2007-01-17 03:10:53 UTC
Permalink
Post by Mark Goldberg
Post by Jani
Sweetie, I didn't start the crossposts. Nor have I been narcissistic in my
responses. Can't you deal with people who talk to each other in a reasonably
polite manner?
Take your phony apple pie 'sweetie' and plant them in the garden where
you post, or compost... whatever you call this drivel you vomit up like
aunt fannies bowel movements, but served on a plate to others as if it
were delicacies.
Thank you so much madam saccharine phony baloney
anti-sincerely, and toodles
Myself and the majority of RMA
Oh great, an arrogant fathead woman-abuser...beware of what might just
be around the corner.
Rabid Weasel
2007-01-17 13:16:52 UTC
Permalink
Post by rain forest
Oh great, an arrogant
Yeah, most of us on rec.martial-arts have at least a touch of that.
Post by rain forest
fathead woman-abuser...
Now you're just trying to play to the audience.
Post by rain forest
beware of what might just be around the corner.
Note the "rec.martial-arts" part.
rain forest
2007-01-18 04:46:41 UTC
Permalink
Post by Rabid Weasel
Note the "rec.martial-arts" part.
Why is this stupid thread cross-posted in alt.witchcraft? Do you want
some recreational psychic kick-ass action?
Rabid Weasel
2007-01-18 13:30:15 UTC
Permalink
Post by rain forest
Post by Rabid Weasel
Note the "rec.martial-arts" part.
Why is this stupid thread cross-posted in alt.witchcraft? Do you want
some recreational psychic kick-ass action?
Don't need it. We already have Chi.

Peace favor your sword (IH),
Kirk
Aunty Kreist
2007-01-18 05:20:02 UTC
Permalink
Post by Mark Goldberg
Post by Jani
Sweetie, I didn't start the crossposts. Nor have I been narcissistic in my
responses. Can't you deal with people who talk to each other in a reasonably
polite manner?
Take your phony apple pie 'sweetie' and plant them in the garden where
you post, or compost... whatever you call this drivel you vomit up like
aunt fannies bowel movements, but served on a plate to others as if it
were delicacies.
Thank you so much madam saccharine phony baloney
anti-sincerely, and toodles
Myself and the majority of RMA
Yeah, you sure told her, Hong Kong Phooey!
Chas
2007-01-14 20:37:12 UTC
Permalink
.....Can't you deal with people who talk to each other in a reasonably
polite manner?
Not when it's a sham to avoid confrontation by subterfuge.
That's one of the essentials in 'martial art'- everything starts from the
understanding that it may all go wonkey in a heartbeat, for incivil reasons,
at any time in the social interaction.
The 'barbs&digs' are less covert- and less-obvious ones are despised for
their cowardice and never overlooked for their intent.
At that; you do seem rather civil and patient
Somebody will get around to being civil and patient back atcha <g>

Chas
Chas
2007-01-14 20:29:11 UTC
Permalink
Post by Jani
Yup. Wikkins hop up and down demanding "respect"; Wiccans (male or female)
earn it, and therefore get it. You have the same principle in MA, surely?
Yeah- you're running into a faction that is very skeptical of claims of
magic- replete as they are in martial arts- and very skeptical of some
differentiation between 'real' magicians and faux poseurs.
There may also be some theological resistance- from several different
perspectives; and some actual cultural historians that see the whole idea of
'Wicca' as being a neo-romantic construct of middle-class nineteenth century
dilettantes during the Celtic Revival period, having little or nothing in
common with the actual early practice.

Chas
djinn
2007-01-12 23:35:23 UTC
Permalink
Post by Jani
Post by Rabid Weasel
Post by Jani
Possibly the spoof element isn't immediately clear to those unfamiliar with
Wiccans, true.
...or unfamiliar with The Onion, or any number of other reasons.
Post by Jani
But I would have thought the total disjunction between the
questions and the replies would have made it fairly obvious that it wasn't a
genuine advice column -
When's the last time you read the newspaper, followed a political debate,
or just listened to two folks who come from a different background?
It's not a matter of cross-purposes, though, it's specific questions being
answered by complete irrelevancies.
Post by Rabid Weasel
Post by Jani
and if I see something posted which is almost
certainly a piss-take, I go and look where it came from ;)
You're forgetting why the original Onion spoof works. It's because most
people have an image of Wiccans as a bit fruity anyway (I'm not debating
whether or not that image is accurate only stating that it is the image).
Additionally, most people know that there are always "fringe" members of
any group, from religion to technology, who are extra-"out there." It
doesn't take too much to combine the two.
Yeah, the Onion works because it's just plausible enough to make you look
twice, but having done that, the satire becomes obvious. The worst ones,
IMO, are the fundie religious ones which read like a spoof and then you
realise they're genuine, and there actually are nutbars who think like that
:(
Post by Rabid Weasel
So, barring any actual indication of intent, it's not
completely unreasonable to assume the OP was intended to be serious.
And if you don't think that there are some folk that would fit right in
with this, despite the fact that you know it to be a parody, I will direct
you to Yellow Bamboo.
There are certainly people who would fit right in with the general *tone* of
the replies, sure. But even if you took the replies seriously, they still
bear *no relation to the questions*. That's the giveaway.
Hi Jani, fancy meeting you here.
Thanks to the cross-post you're writing to guys from rec.martial-arts.
They're used to replies that have no relations to the questions. :)

How's things?
Jani
2007-01-13 02:02:09 UTC
Permalink
Post by djinn
Hi Jani, fancy meeting you here.
Thanks to the cross-post you're writing to guys from rec.martial-arts.
They're used to replies that have no relations to the questions. :)
How's things?
Good grief, long time no see :) Fine, thank you. Moved house, moved area,
kids all doing well, usual stuff. How's you?

Jani
djinn
2007-01-13 03:20:10 UTC
Permalink
"Jani 写道:
"
Post by Jani
Post by djinn
Hi Jani, fancy meeting you here.
Thanks to the cross-post you're writing to guys from rec.martial-arts.
They're used to replies that have no relations to the questions. :)
How's things?
Good grief, long time no see :) Fine, thank you. Moved house, moved area,
kids all doing well, usual stuff. How's you?
Jani
Changed continents again. Lots less rain but colder. On a project much
like the one that brought me there. Come to think of it, it was almost
exactly 4 years ago I was there.... time flies.
Jani
2007-01-13 15:00:48 UTC
Permalink
"djinn" <***@gmail.com> wrote in message news:***@38g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...

"Jani ÐŽµÀ£º
"
Post by Jani
Post by djinn
Hi Jani, fancy meeting you here.
Thanks to the cross-post you're writing to guys from rec.martial-arts.
They're used to replies that have no relations to the questions. :)
How's things?
Good grief, long time no see :) Fine, thank you. Moved house, moved area,
kids all doing well, usual stuff. How's you?
Jani
Changed continents again. Lots less rain but colder. On a project much
like the one that brought me there. Come to think of it, it was almost
exactly 4 years ago I was there.... time flies.

Does indeed. My eldest graduates this year, the middle one is in high
school, and the littl'un is as tall as me :)

Jani
GreendistantNOSPAMstar
2007-01-14 01:17:46 UTC
Permalink
Post by Jani
"Jani ÐŽµÀ£º
"
Post by Jani
Post by djinn
Hi Jani, fancy meeting you here.
Thanks to the cross-post you're writing to guys from rec.martial-arts.
They're used to replies that have no relations to the questions. :)
How's things?
Good grief, long time no see :) Fine, thank you. Moved house, moved area,
kids all doing well, usual stuff. How's you?
Jani
Changed continents again. Lots less rain but colder. On a project much
like the one that brought me there. Come to think of it, it was almost
exactly 4 years ago I was there.... time flies.
Does indeed. My eldest graduates this year, the middle one is in high school,
and the littl'un is as tall as me :)
Pssst. Remember writing this? "Sweetie, I didn't start the crossposts"

So now you're crossposting your over-the-backfence chit-chat?

Take it to email, 'sweetie' .
--
GDS

" Let's roll! "
Rabid Weasel
2007-01-14 02:04:28 UTC
Permalink
Post by djinn
Hi Jani, fancy meeting you here.
Thanks to the cross-post you're writing to guys from rec.martial-arts.
They're used to replies that have no relations to the questions. :)
hehehe

Too true.

Peace favor your sword (IH),
Kirk
Mark Goldberg
2007-01-13 23:49:55 UTC
Permalink
Post by Jani
Possibly the spoof element isn't immediately clear to those unfamiliar with
Wiccans, true. But I would have thought the total disjunction between the
questions and the replies would have made it fairly obvious that it wasn't a
genuine advice column - and if I see something posted which is almost
certainly a piss-take, I go and look where it came from ;)
Jani
I tend to look at crossposts as by definition, pissing on the world.
You call it humor. I see it as urination
from the wiccans, or the witches, or the pagans or whoever thinks
they're so chi chi sophisticated with their cross-postings to people all
over the internet. Of course, you think it's all so charming to do this
kind of thing.

Mark
Neil Gendzwill
2007-01-12 16:16:02 UTC
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Post by Rabid Weasel
Or maybe, just maybe, you might consider the outside possibility that not
everyone reading the OP has read that entry in The Onion.
How about considering the possibility that anyone with half a brain
could recognise it as satire, with or without knowing anything about the
Onion.

Neil
Rabid Weasel
2007-01-12 16:37:37 UTC
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Post by Neil Gendzwill
Post by Rabid Weasel
Or maybe, just maybe, you might consider the outside possibility that not
everyone reading the OP has read that entry in The Onion.
How about considering the possibility that anyone with half a brain
could recognise it as satire, with or without knowing anything about the
Onion.
Nope. I'm not buying it. I've seen too much really weird stuff being
pimped, such as Yellow Bamboo for instance, to not at least consider
taking unattributed posts at face value.

Just between you, me, and the mouse over there, I didn't even bother
reading the OP. I read GDS's reply and thought it was funny though.

My point remains, outside of any obvious attribution that it's satirical,
there's little enough reason for the average reader to assume that it's
anything other than what it purports to be and plenty of reason to assume
that that it should be taken at face value.

As I said in my other reply, there's a reason why The Onion can satirize
on this topic and it "works."

Peace favor your sword (IH),
Kirk
Rich
2007-01-13 08:56:40 UTC
Permalink
Post by Rabid Weasel
My point remains, outside of any obvious attribution that it's satirical,
there's little enough reason for the average reader to assume that it's
anything other than what it purports to be and plenty of reason to assume
that that it should be taken at face value.
Except, umm, the entire content of the post. How little do you credit
the average reader with?
Post by Rabid Weasel
As I said in my other reply, there's a reason why The Onion can satirize
on this topic and it "works."
Have a look at The Onion and tell me which of the headlines you would
believe if it were posted unattributed. I'm curious, now. :)

Cheers
Rich
Rabid Weasel
2007-01-14 02:13:37 UTC
Permalink
Post by Rich
Post by Rabid Weasel
My point remains, outside of any obvious attribution that it's satirical,
there's little enough reason for the average reader to assume that it's
anything other than what it purports to be and plenty of reason to assume
that that it should be taken at face value.
Except, umm, the entire content of the post. How little do you credit
the average reader with?
How many average people have you met again?

What's that quote about the gullibility of the general public at large?
Post by Rich
Post by Rabid Weasel
As I said in my other reply, there's a reason why The Onion can satirize
on this topic and it "works."
Have a look at The Onion and tell me which of the headlines you would
believe if it were posted unattributed. I'm curious, now. :)
I stopped reading The Onion ages ago. I just don't have the time (or
rather I prefer to wast my "disposable" entertainment time elseways).

Peace favor your sword (IH),
Kirk
Shuurai
2007-01-15 14:28:42 UTC
Permalink
Post by Rabid Weasel
Post by Neil Gendzwill
Post by Rabid Weasel
Or maybe, just maybe, you might consider the outside possibility that not
everyone reading the OP has read that entry in The Onion.
How about considering the possibility that anyone with half a brain
could recognise it as satire, with or without knowing anything about the
Onion.
Nope. I'm not buying it. I've seen too much really weird stuff being
pimped, such as Yellow Bamboo for instance, to not at least consider
taking unattributed posts at face value.
I dunno... seemed pretty obvious as satire to me as well.
Post by Rabid Weasel
Just between you, me, and the mouse over there, I didn't even bother
reading the OP. I read GDS's reply and thought it was funny though.
The OP was semi-funny and obviously not meant to be taken seriously.
Post by Rabid Weasel
My point remains, outside of any obvious attribution that it's satirical,
there's little enough reason for the average reader to assume that it's
anything other than what it purports to be and plenty of reason to assume
that that it should be taken at face value.
Again, I just don't see that being the case. I suspected the Onion
when I read the title of the thread; reading the actual post only
confirmed it. The Onion has an "Ask a ______" column every issue.
Post by Rabid Weasel
As I said in my other reply, there's a reason why The Onion can satirize
on this topic and it "works."
Yeah, they can but this one was still pretty obvious.
Chas
2007-01-12 18:15:50 UTC
Permalink
How about considering the possibility that anyone with half a brain could
recognise it as satire,
Because Wiccans are self-satirizing in their very existance. The entire
construct of the fantasy is suitable for addle-pated nineteenth-century
dilettantes with entirely too much time on their hands- same genre as the
Blavatskian Theosophists, Neo-Romantic Celtic Revivalists, and Aleister
Crowley dressed up as an Egyptian Heroin Junky.
with or without knowing anything about the Onion.
That's the little humor magazine, isn't it?

Chas
GreendistantNOSPAMstar
2007-01-13 00:24:18 UTC
Permalink
Post by Rabid Weasel
Or maybe, just maybe, you might consider the outside possibility that not
everyone reading the OP has read that entry in The Onion.
How about considering the possibility that anyone with half a brain could
recognise it as satire, with or without knowing anything about the Onion.
Neil
How about considering the possibility that:

1) It was OT and cross-posted

2) It's not the responsibility of rma'ers to check the credentials of OT,
cross-posted threads

3) Given the above, it was fair game for some return satire

And if you don't like that, Neil, I shall put a hex on you ;>)
--
GDS

" Let's roll! "
Mark Goldberg
2007-01-13 06:18:02 UTC
Permalink
Post by GreendistantNOSPAMstar
Post by Rabid Weasel
Or maybe, just maybe, you might consider the outside possibility that not
everyone reading the OP has read that entry in The Onion.
How about considering the possibility that anyone with half a brain could
recognise it as satire, with or without knowing anything about the Onion.
Neil
1) It was OT and cross-posted
2) It's not the responsibility of rma'ers to check the credentials of OT,
cross-posted threads
3) Given the above, it was fair game for some return satire
And if you don't like that, Neil, I shall put a hex on you ;>)
You mean a pox, don't you? :^)
Hell, Neil, I didn't know what which onion they meant, sweet, sharp...
Anymore than If I quoted Rimbaud,
'I seated beauty upon my knee, cursed her, and reviled her'
Does anyone know about his death from disease at the knee...?
Would I be gauche' to throw it in their faces if they were caught unawares.?

Mark
Beauty
2007-01-19 02:37:21 UTC
Permalink
Post by Mark Goldberg
Post by GreendistantNOSPAMstar
Post by Neil Gendzwill
Post by Rabid Weasel
Or maybe, just maybe, you might consider the outside possibility that not
everyone reading the OP has read that entry in The Onion.
How about considering the possibility that anyone with half a brain
could recognise it as satire, with or without knowing anything about
the Onion.
Neil
1) It was OT and cross-posted
2) It's not the responsibility of rma'ers to check the credentials of
OT, cross-posted threads
3) Given the above, it was fair game for some return satire
And if you don't like that, Neil, I shall put a hex on you ;>)
You mean a pox, don't you? :^)
Hell, Neil, I didn't know what which onion they meant, sweet, sharp...
Anymore than If I quoted Rimbaud,
'I seated beauty upon my knee, cursed her, and reviled her'
Does anyone know about his death from disease at the knee...?
Would I be gauche' to throw it in their faces if they were caught unawares.?
Mark
I like that quote!
Shuurai
2007-01-15 14:37:32 UTC
Permalink
Post by GreendistantNOSPAMstar
Post by Rabid Weasel
Or maybe, just maybe, you might consider the outside possibility that not
everyone reading the OP has read that entry in The Onion.
How about considering the possibility that anyone with half a brain could
recognise it as satire, with or without knowing anything about the Onion.
Neil
1) It was OT and cross-posted
The fact that it's corss-posted doesn't give it any more validity. In
fact, it gives it somewhat less.
Post by GreendistantNOSPAMstar
2) It's not the responsibility of rma'ers to check the credentials of OT,
cross-posted threads
No; but detecting obvious satire ought to at least be an ability.
Post by GreendistantNOSPAMstar
3) Given the above, it was fair game for some return satire
And if you don't like that, Neil, I shall put a hex on you ;>)
29A! 29A!
Sparticus
2007-01-13 06:49:07 UTC
Permalink
On Fri, 12 Jan 2007 10:16:02 -0600, Neil Gendzwill
Post by Neil Gendzwill
Post by Rabid Weasel
Or maybe, just maybe, you might consider the outside possibility that not
everyone reading the OP has read that entry in The Onion.
How about considering the possibility that anyone with half a brain
could recognise it as satire, with or without knowing anything about the
Onion.
You would think, wouldn't you?
However, this article got passed around amongst Jesus nuts as evidence
http://web.archive.org/web/20000815214418/http://www.theonion.com/onion3625/harry_potter.html
See http://www.snopes.com/humor/iftrue/potter.htm for details.
My thanks to Eric D. Berge, for adding a little intelligence this
disscussion.
I will openly admit that I was trolling when I cross-posted this Onion
article, you might ask why I chose to do this besides the obvious troll
reasons?
Well firstly I was reading some of the new age - Wiccan -
witchcraft type news groups, it seemed to me that this parody article
really didn't seem out of place from a lot of the stuff being
discussed on these forums.

I posted this thing to RMA because it seemed to me that this was a very
reactionary group that doesn't balks at pointing out the
ridiculousness this sort of thing.
Surpassingly the only reactions thus far have come from RMA
.
In the back of my mind I did know that there are individuals out there
on the lunatic fringes that would take this article seriously!
But I just can't believe that given the fact that the Wiccan gossip
columnist replies don't have any connection to the questions being
asked, that gormless types actually take it seriously, this seems
incredible.
Her name is "Morganna Goldenwand" for fuck sake!

And the fact that someone removed the links to alt:Satanism and
alt:Whichcraft seems to suggest that they take these sorts of practices
just a little to seriously.

Credos to those who spotted it as a parody and to those who took it
seriously I would strongly advise them to consult their Tarot.

A Troll.
Rich
2007-01-13 08:52:42 UTC
Permalink
Post by Sparticus
I will openly admit that I was trolling when I cross-posted this Onion
article, you might ask why I chose to do this besides the obvious troll
reasons?
No; the obvious troll reasons explain it perfectly well. You got your
attention, well done.
Post by Sparticus
I posted this thing to RMA because it seemed to me that this was a very
reactionary group that doesn't balks at pointing out the
ridiculousness this sort of thing.
Surpassingly the only reactions thus far have come from RMA
.
In the back of my mind I did know that there are individuals out there
on the lunatic fringes that would take this article seriously!
Come now, Kirk's a little old-fashioned, but hardly a lunatic fringe.
:P
Post by Sparticus
And the fact that someone removed the links to alt:Satanism and
alt:Whichcraft seems to suggest that they take these sorts of practices
just a little to seriously.
Everything's archived here; if you don't want to seem the sort of
person who posts to certain groups, fair enough.

Cheers
Rich
Rabid Weasel
2007-01-14 02:11:38 UTC
Permalink
Post by Rich
Post by Sparticus
In the back of my mind I did know that there are individuals out there
on the lunatic fringes that would take this article seriously!
Come now, Kirk's a little old-fashioned, but hardly a lunatic fringe.
:P
The two are synonymous in the modern lexicon. Didn't you get the memo?

;-)

In all seriousness, I completely ignored the OP but red GDS's reply on the
off chance that it'd be amusing. It was. Very.

Peace favor your sword (IH),
Kirk
Jani
2007-01-13 15:11:37 UTC
Permalink
"Sparticus" <***@lycos.com> wrote in message news:***@q2g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...

[]
Post by Sparticus
Well firstly I was reading some of the new age - Wiccan -
witchcraft type news groups, it seemed to me that this parody article
really didn't seem out of place from a lot of the stuff being
discussed on these forums.
Yes, you'll find people discussing herbalism, religious ritual, animism, etc
on pagan/Wiccan forums. And, indeed, a lot of silly people tweeting on about
brewing up crystals in nettle tea, and the like :)
Post by Sparticus
I posted this thing to RMA because it seemed to me that this was a very
reactionary group that doesn't balks at pointing out the
ridiculousness this sort of thing.
Surpassingly the only reactions thus far have come from RMA
[]
Post by Sparticus
And the fact that someone removed the links to alt:Satanism and
alt:Whichcraft seems to suggest that they take these sorts of practices
just a little to seriously.
There aren't many Wiccans posting to ARW or AW or APM. AS isn't much
interested in Wicca anyway.
Post by Sparticus
Credos to those who spotted it as a parody and to those who took it
seriously I would strongly advise them to consult their Tarot.
Credos? Heh. Did you mean kudos, or was that a rather subtle snark? :)

Jani
blu
2007-01-14 08:50:42 UTC
Permalink
Post by Sparticus
On Fri, 12 Jan 2007 10:16:02 -0600, Neil Gendzwill
Post by Neil Gendzwill
Post by Rabid Weasel
Or maybe, just maybe, you might consider the outside possibility that not
everyone reading the OP has read that entry in The Onion.
How about considering the possibility that anyone with half a brain
could recognise it as satire, with or without knowing anything about the
Onion.
You would think, wouldn't you?
However, this article got passed around amongst Jesus nuts as evidence
http://web.archive.org/web/20000815214418/http://www.theonion.com/onion3625/harry_potter.html
See http://www.snopes.com/humor/iftrue/potter.htm for details.
My thanks to Eric D. Berge, for adding a little intelligence this
disscussion.
I will openly admit that I was trolling <snip>
Geezus pleezus..
If this is the caliber of trolls now, it may be time to kill the UTB
altogether and go back to playing solitaire.
--
blu*goddess.of.groundhogs*juju
blu 3=3
master of irrelevance
Cancel my subscription to the resurrection.
-Jim Morrison http://blu05.port5.com/cantmakeit.htm
seon ferguson
2007-02-06 06:01:42 UTC
Permalink
"Morganna Goldenwand is a syndicated advice columnist whose weekly
column, Ask A Wiccan, appears in over three newspapers nationwide. She
is also the author of Tread Lightly: A Guide To The Sacred Woodland
Glades Of Upper Illinois, and has ju"

Oh my god you mean someone that insane actually exists?

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